Currently: Wondering

……but I can NOT get my Google reader to alphabetize anymore! Several months ago, I cleaned out my reader, re-added a bunch, and the feeds were alphabetically listed according to site title. Every time I would add a new read, that feed was also listed alphabetically by title. Then, all of a sudden, the feeds stopped showing up alphabetically. Well, the ones that were already alphabetized were still in order, but any new one I added went directly to the bottom of the list, and the new set is alphabetized there.

Is there a way to get them ALL in alphabetical order? I don’t do folders or anything; maybe it would just be best to divide into folders now.

Currently: Not good

First off, just want to apologize to Jamie @ Bumps in the Road for taking so long to get to this:

The meme is called Crazy Eights, so here we go!

Here are the rules:
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment on their blog and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to come back and read your blog for the whole story.

Here are my “Crazy Eights”. I am going to try not to *completely* take things from other memes I’ve done in the past which may be similar.

1. I am self-taught in graphics and web design, in general.
2. I still haven’t learned how to create my own Wordpress theme, but I am working on it.
3. I can, however, see a wordpress theme similar to what I would create, if I had the time and know-how, and modify the hell out of it till it suits my needs.
4. The rumble of thunder is one of my favorite sounds.
5. The smell of fresh cut grass is one of my favorite smells.
6. I dream of the day when I finally have a covered porch.
7. I’m about three semesters shy of my Bachelor’s degree.
8. All I want to do these days is sleep.

**I am not tagging (I know, I know, I am no fun!), but please let me know if you decide to play along!

I feel like depression is really starting to kick my ass again. I’m not sad; I just am not interested in myself or anything else. I am not at all motivated to continue any of the self-improvements I’ve made. As I said in the meme above, all I want to do these days is sleep, so that is how I pass the days when I don’t work. I like it. Oh, I know I should feel guilty for being so lazy. This is not even ‘me’ time we’re talking about. I just can’t be bothered to do much of anything during the day. For what it’s worth, I seem to perk up a bit at night and get things done then. Regardless…I don’t feel lazy, I feel tired. I don’t feel guilty, either. I rather like escaping from mundane drudgeries into my dreams. Well, when my dreams are good, that is!

I hope this is just a temporary setback of sorts. Hopefully here soon I’ll be busy with having the boys home, and busy with baseball and football, and busy with all the other things that go on on a daily basis. Maybe I’ll find my groove again soon. It’s been a while since I was this overwhelmed. I am so glad for the brief respite I had. It’s been a while since I had to use my inhaler several times a day, and I had forgotten how nice that was. It’s been a while since I had any trouble with my children, and I had forgotten how nice that was. Now things just need to settle back down, and get back to something that feels like ‘normal’ to me.

I am headed off to sleep.

Currently: Trying to make an entry before I have way too much to say for one post

Did all you mother’s have a good Mother’s Day? I hope so. I sure did! My kids were scheduled to spend the weekend with their bio dad, so I had the weekend free of fight-mediating and chauffering. That’s always a plus! This is the card my wonderful sons got me:

Here’s the inside. It was one of those music cards. They recorded their own message to me, and it also played “Unbelievable”.

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I also got a chance to go thrifting over the weekend. I don’t have photos uploaded of all the things I bought just yet, but I did find a BEAUTIFUL china teacup, and a saucer which matches a cup I already have here. But perhaps my best score (and one of my best and favorites of the year thus far!) was this pair of Doc Marten slides for just $4.99:

I love the brand, and these shoes were in just about perfect condition. I got them specifically for work; the soles are amazing for standing on hard floors. I wore these to work yesterday, and could tell quite a difference from some of the shoes I usually wear.

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And…….YAY! American Gladiators is back! Did anyone happen to see it last night? The two winners from last season were the new Gladiators. The soccer mom is now ‘Jet’, and she is soooooo ripped now! She’s still adorable, but I do wish they hadn’t given her a haircut that made her look like Suzanne Whang of House Hunters. But I digress….I did enjoy seeing her and Rocket, last year’s male winner. There’s also another new female Gladiator that I’d never seen before.

You all know I am soooo glad WOLF is back this season, though!! He was sporting some fangs last night during the opening credits. I don’t know if they are permanent or just a prop for the show’s credits, but…..I think I love him even more now.

Currently: Planning

The next bit of money I get to spend on my cars will HOPEFULLY be for improvement and actual restoration instead of just keeping them running. I have to replace the battery in the Trans Am, and I am praying that’s all it will need to run again. Then I desperately need to get it to a body shop somewhere for body repair and a new paint job. I know that’s an expensive thing to start with, but it has got to be fixed first so that when I get the motors for the power windows fixed, there won’t be any way for water to possibly get down in there and ruin them. It’s kind of hard to explain, but getting the body in prime shape and doors/hinges aligned properly, and a new paint job so that nothing else rusts, has to be the first priority.

As for the Mustang, I would love to start undoing some of the damage the idiot who sideswiped me has done. Since none of that interfered with my driving, none of it has been repaired yet. And every time after that that I came into a bit of extra money, it needed to be spent on necessary repairs to keep the car running. I’d actually like to start customizing it a bit once all the damage issues are taken care of. I found a site that sells custom Ford grills, and they have some hot ones! I also snuck a peek at the rest of their Ford accessories, and they have everything I could possibly want to customize with.

Okay, I have the ideas and now know where to get some neat stuff. Now I just need the funds!

Currently: Waking up

Or is it ‘Mommyblogging’, you know, with a capital M? Is it its own entity now? While the rest of the world was off blogging about the scandalous photos of Miley Cyrus, I was sitting here pondering something that really has me scratching my head in bewilderment: the mommyblogging phenomenon. What, exactly, turns a blogger from being just a regular blogger into a mommyblogger? Don’t say the obvious, which is having children, because that is not the ONLY requirement. It can’t be, because I am a mom and I have never considered myself a mommyblogger. This is due mostly to the fact that I am a mom of children who are now teenagers. When I started blogging, that term, to my knowledge, didn’t even exist. As I was saying, simply having children does not a mommyblogger make. I had no idea how big this whole mommyblogging thing had gotten. I don’t know if this is a fairly recent thing, or if it has existed for some time and I just didn’t notice because I tend to skim over posts having to do with spit-up and baby poop. (Sorry mommybloggers! I am reading, but what can I say, really? I can’t relate to those issues at all anymore.) Until recently, there were no posts being made about things like baby camp fiascos.

But this brings me to my next point: what about the moms of older kids/tweens/teens? Where is our blogging voice? I know there are a few of you out there besides me, but that is all I know of: just a FEW of you. Surely more of us exist than that. Are we called something else? Why don’t advertisers flock to us as they do to the moms of the diapered set? Although we’re not necessarily in the same core demographic as the more traditional mommyblogger, we still are still responsible for providing for our children’s needs. We may no longer be buying diapers and bottles and formula and arranging play dates, but we do buy food, gadgets, music, and other entertainment; and, in the case of tweens/teens, we’re parenting children who are about to get into the dating ages, and driving ages. We still have to deal with medical issues and doctor visits, even as our children get older. And with older children comes an entirely new set of frustrations and a new realm of consumerism which didn’t exist, at least to me, when the children were younger. I love ALL the blogs I read, but would also really like to be able to network with moms of older kids. And it would be nice to eventually see more advertisers in the blogosphere take an interest in us as well.

Do you consider yourself a mommyblogger? Why or why not? I personally still don’t consider myself a mommyblogger, since my kids are practically grown. Not only that, but my blog has always been more like a watered-down version of a personal journal to some extent. But I have noticed that there seem to be a LOT more blogging moms of younger children than older children, and that interests me.

Thoughts?

Currently: Getting ready to weather the storms

With the weather, that is. We’re supposed to be getting some severe weather around 2-ish this afternoon. The schools have dismissed; I have picked my youngest son up, and my oldest has just gotten off the bus. My cell phone is charging, I have located our storm flashlight, and am looking for our wind-up radio. I also have water and a stash of candy bars to go to the closet with us if we need to hop in there for our safety. And in case our kitchen is blown away.

I didn’t get to start on our storm shelter this spring like I had hoped. Repairing our cars took a huge chunk out of what I had to try to divide up among home improvements. So we’ll be waiting any tornadoes out in the most central closet in the house. It could be worse, though. At least we’re not traveling the country in one a class A motorhome, stuck trying to find shelter somewhere near an RV park. Or worse yet, trying to find shelter while on the road!

Why does our weather always have to be all or nothing? We might get rains from time to time, but it seems like we never get any thunderstorms unless they are of the severe, tornado-producing variety. It would be so nice to just get some plain ol’ thunderstorms from time to time. You know….rain, slight wind, lightning, thunder. No supercells, no rotation, no tornadoes or high straight-line winds. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely a storm chaser at heart! But severe weather worries me now because of the kids, even though they inherited my love of it and are never scared.

Currently: About to get ready for bed

The list of things which need to be replaced around here just keeps growing and growing. I’ve mentioned before that my oven isn’t working properly and that it needs to be replaced. I have found the perfect, cheap range with the smooth cooktop that I’ve been dying to have ever since they were made. But those Electrolux appliance commercials featuring the annoyingly perky Satan Kelly Ripa have me really wishing I could afford to gut the kitchen and just start over. One of their cooktops boils water in just 90 seconds! When did Electrolux start making appliances? I always knew about Electrolux vacuums, but I had no idea they made other household appliances, too.

Even the cheap stove I have planned will have to wait, as my phone is also on its last legs and needs to be replaced. I am taking care of that ASAP, since my cell is the only phone I use, and I can not be without a way to be contacted should anyone need me. I decided to go ahead and upgrade to a music player phone, which is free with my contract renewal. I don’t know how that is going to work out because I haven’t heard anyone talk about a music player phone. If it’s a dream-come-true, multi-functional piece of electronic equipment, great. If not, I’ll be happy if it just performs the phone and text functions I’ll need it to. After all, it’s free.

Currently: Detoxing

If I ever wondered whether or not I am where I am supposed to be, I need wonder no more. In the past I have complained a lot about hating it here and have seriously contemplated moving back home a time or two. However, Myspace has helped me see the error of my ways.

As I’ve gotten a bit more active on Myspace in the past year or so, I’ve learned a bit more about how to use the ‘features’ there. I began searching for people I knew from back home. Some have been found, and most have responded to my messages. Those would be the people I used to work with and knew from my and their college days, which means they’ve all moved onto other places. We are all different people now, but I am more than happy to become reacquainted with them and hope to do so over time.

But the people I knew in high school are different. Out of the six that I have contacted, only three bothered to respond. Of those three, two have been my good friends since school. They’ve both moved on from ‘home’, too. The funniest thing is the people I tried getting in touch with who still live there did not bother to respond at all. One I even considered a good friend back in school. I am not really sure what’s up with these people because they read the messages. And if they don’t want to be in contact with me, then that is fine.

And that is what got me thinking. Growing up, I really, truly hated living where I did and that particular school and most of the people in it. Not all, but most. It was torture to have to show up there every day. Most of my classmates either ignored me at best, or made my life a living hell at worst. Often, the latter. My mother never could understand why I was so upset most of the time. It really seemed impossible to make friends, and I know that I should have been happy with the few I had. And I was. But even that couldn’t stop me from being upset over the blatant stupidity of the kids who all acted like they thought they were better than everyone else. I mean, my mom and I would go shopping on weekends and she’d see people she knew, whose kids I knew, and their kids wouldn’t even speak to me (and vice versa). It was really hurtful, and went on for years. It eventually did pass, and I was able to enjoy probably the last two years of high school.

Anyway, the point I was getting around to with all of that is that over the years since leaving, I often wondered if, like my family suggested, maybe I just didn’t put forth enough effort. Maybe I wasn’t approachable (even though most of the time it was me making attempts at friendship and not the other way around). In other words, maybe it was all my fault. I see now that it wasn’t. I did try. These kids and I? We just didn’t mesh. Even as adults, some have no interest in catching up with me. This really kind of stung at first, but has made me realize how happy I am to have the few friends there that I did have. The two I mentioned are friends with me even now. I wish I had spent more time enjoying my very best friend, and our adventures back then, instead of constantly worrying why I didn’t measure up in anyone else’s eyes. But…I was young and dumb and overly sensitive, and everything hurt. And having seen that not much has changed in twenty years makes me feel somewhat vindicated. My misery wasn’t entirely in my imagination.

It’s also made me very thankful for the friends I’ve made since coming to the Huntsville area. For the longest time, I felt totally alone here and hated it as badly as I did the place I grew up. Many of the people here were the same way. I could make acquaintances, but no one who remembered me or was interested in getting to know me outside work. I don’t know how my luck changed, but I am so glad it finally did. I don’t think I could continue living here if I didn’t have friends of my own like I do now. Being ignored and unwanted was really starting to tear me down. I am glad that has changed. It’s a good thing, because going home would obviously not have been a better solution.

So yeah. If I ever wondered whether I am where I am supposed to be in life (at least geographically speaking), then I know now that I am.

Currently: Getting ready for work

Who watched AI last night? I can’t believe I’ve become a semi-regular viewer of this show. But? A chance to watch Jason Castro in all his dreadlocked glory, and David Cook, who reminds me of Jimmy Fallon, can not be missed.

Last night’s episode was a real treat, though, with Paula critiquing ‘both’ of Jason’s performances when he’d only been onstage once at that point. You could see some of the audience behind her turning to one another with “WTF?” looks on their faces. I only wish the cameras had panned to the contestants. I would love to have seen their reactions. I seriously need a shot of whatever she’s on. It’s probably exactly what I need to pull me out of these funks I seem to spiral into on such a frequent basis these days.

Currently: About to get ready for bed

I made a huge mistake today. Really huge. My son had an orthodontist appointment, which I scheduled at least two months ago. It has been on my mind since I made the appointment, and even yesterday I gathered the forms I’d filled out, which I would need to take with us. The office even called yesterday morning to remind me of it. So what happened? Today rolled around, and that appointment NEVER even crossed my mind. At least not until about fifteen minutes before the appointment time. There was no way I could get my son from school and get him out there in time to be seen. Sigh. So now, because of my sucky memory, I’ve had to reschedule. The earliest they can see him is in July. He won’t be here in July, so I had to schedule an August appointment instead.

I seriously don’t know what is wrong with me! How did I forget something like this? It is on my calendar and everything. I am losing my mind. At least I have been good at getting him to his many chiropractor appointments. And I didn’t forget his dermatologist appointment, which is good. I’m not so sure having to go the route of natural acne treatments, which we would be exploring right now had I forgotten THAT appointment, would have helped at all. He’s had to be put on a pretty strong medication for it, but it is clearing his skin up better and faster than anything else we’ve tried.